Disputing the Notion that We Have Nothing to Eat

Let someone else's kids eat cake!
Though they often fail to recognize it, my boys lead a life of privilege. This lack of insight leads to hyperbole on their part. For example, when they say, "We have nothing to eat," it does not mean that our pantry is bare and they will be forced to fill their rumbly tummies with, say, crumbling bits of wall board.

No, my spoiled children are really grumbling about the lack of a food fairy who magically appears with high-fat, high-sugar, carb-centric treats the moment they feel a pang of hunger. As they whine about limited options, they're actually calling out for a maidservant or perhaps a mother who will dote on them well into their teens rendering them incapable adults. I do not strive to be such a mother.

My boys are smart and physically fit. Not only are they, in theory, capable and washing and peeling fruits and vegetables, they know how to scramble eggs, boil pasta, and bake cookies from scratch. When they whine about not having anything to eat in the house, it's like nails on a chalkboard* to my ears.

So, for the record, here is a sampling of what there is to eat in the house:

Apples, carrots, celery
Canned beans
Canned olives and artichokes
Canned tuna and salmon
Yogurt (various flavors and brands)
Dry cereal (mostly low sugar, high fiber)
Oatmeal (plain and flavored, quick and slow-cook)
Shredded cheese
Goat cheese
Sandwich bread
Canned soup
Ice cream
Frozen chocolate waffles (homemade)
Frozen meals (microwaveable)
Frozen pizzas
Frozen vegetables
Frozen pot stickers
Dry pasta (and water to boil it in)
Spaghetti sauce
Popcorn (kernels and microwaveable packets)
Basic ingredients: from flour and sugar to herbs and spices

*I can understand a child who comes from a long day school or sports practice wanting a quick snack, but a child who wakes up after sleeping in during winter break? Ugh.

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